Judo Jokes
You can contact Stephen C. Locke at
LockeS@fau.edu.
Stolen from the
Judo-L
discussion list.
Numbers 1 to 25 due to
Chuck Malooley,
Ft. Wayne, IN. Numbers 26-30 due to Sean Hartigan.
YOU MIGHT BE A JUDO PLAYER IF...
1. You think sweating builds character.
2. You don t mind having more bruises than medals.
3. You think nothing worth while comes easily....and you re ok with
that.
4. You think teamwork means actually helping each other.
5. You think mixing it up is a way to have a good time.
6. You miss wrestling season.
7. You can get slammed on your back.....and laugh.
8. You think safety is as important as learning to apply pain.
9. You think learning to fall helps you learn to throw people.
10. You have more potential than you realize.
11. You want to wrestle competitively......but you re a girl.
12. You think traveling to tournaments is a vacation .
13. You want to interrupt your summer for the Hoosier State Games.....and
win.
14. You can get thrown by a smaller player......and you don t mind.
15. You think your family includes people that you re not even related
to.
16. You think the slogan No pain, no gain hasn t been overused yet.
17. You spend more time planning for a healthy diet then you do for a
date.....
18. ......because your date is practicing too.
19. You actually need calories!!
20. You take your child to practice because you re in the same class.
21. You can pivot on one bent leg while sweeping with the other...but you
can t dance.
22. Your wedding day is the same day as the Nationals.....so you re late
to one event.
23. You remember your wedding anniversary as the day after the big
tournament .
24. Your honeymoon was a trip to the Midwest Open in Joliet, Ill.
25. You think your spouse understands . (yeah, right!!)
26. You think "mutual welfare and benefit" means taking turns
strangling each other to the point of unconsciousnes.
27. During intimate relations with the opposite sex, you
find yourself thinking, "Wow, he/she's wide-open for an
armbar."
28. You just don't feel right unless your body feels like
a six-ounce steak after a hard session with the tenderizer.
29. Your list of desirable qualities in the opposite sex includes:
"attractively placed gi burns on the face and neck," "never submits
until arm is ready to break," and "wicked drop seoi-nage."
30. People refuse to hug you, shake your hand, etc., because you
never let go until they tap out or someone yells "Matte!"
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URL: http://www.math.fau.edu/locke/judo/JudoJoke.htm
Last modified December 14, 1998, by S.C. Locke.
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LockeS@fau.edu